5 School Rules For Parents

You’ve made it through 2 whirlwind weeks of school – now make sure to take Maysaa’s advice on settling in for the long term mamas.

I was so ready for my kids to start school. With nearly 3 months worth of “holidays” (whatever! That word is used loosely), my first question on Orientation day was: “So, how early is Early Drop Off?”

I adore the 3 monsters munchkins to bits. Really, I do. But there is something about spending 12 weeks with them and their nasty iPad addiction that can drive anyone borderline crazy. Throw in some sibling rivalry/wrestling/non stop eating/mind numbing summer camps/sand clogged drains and you’ll hit insanity.

I think my husband does the Running Man dance as soon as he has closed the front door and is on his way to work freedom. Meanwhile, I have to draw a balance between entertaining, educating and letting them ‘just be kids’.

So after many crossed calendar days, the day arrived and school started – and for some of my friends, this was a first. You see, their sweet, precious child is just starting school and for the very first time they will need to let go. So I emailed them my best advice for this momentous occasion.

Rule #1

Do not read hippy loving, don’t put chocolate chips in cookies (use raisins!) blogs.

These blogs will make even your waterproof mascara run and fill you with angst. You don’t need them. Instead, have a good cry (without child seeing) and then consider the amazing education that is going to flood your child’s mind. That and the 2347276423 thousand other things you will have the freedom to do.

Rule #2

Meet the teacher and profess your love.

Find the classroom and headhunt the teacher as if your life depends on it. Give her your email, phone number heck, even your address! Do anything so that she/he knows you’re grateful for looking after your kid for a bajilllion hours this year. Please note: do not bear gifts. Yet.

Rule #3

Make a mummy friend/s.

One will do for now, however in the future make sure you are right in with the clique. You will never forget a sports day, fancy dress day, any bloody day nor will you miss out of school gossip. It’s a win win!

Rule #4

Walk away.

Give your child a kiss and a massive hug, ofcourse but then do not, I repeat DO NOT linger. Lingering is troublesome. Your brain will make your heart hurt and you will remember that time that you could’ve done more – more play doh, more park trips, did I use multi grain bread, even? – and that is dangerous. Walk away from the situation and head to the car. You may or may not feel the urge to cry again.

Rule #5

Take a 10 hour shower*.

Or go to the mall, or catch up with your mum/cousin/neighbour/pet. You’ve earned it mama!

*This is of course if you haven’t bred more monsters munchkins. If you have, sorry, scrap this whole list.